Woman About Sex

The year 2010 is just around the corner! Ahh, you know, I’m thinking about my blog, sweet and loved. In fact, it’s been more than three years now since I started it in 2006 as Nellioness. For Soul. For Mind. For Body! Today it is WomanAboutSex.Com…

My heartfelt thank you all my readers for reading my blog and sharing here your thoughts and experiences all year long! Thank you for always making me smile with your lovely comments and wishes! Thanks for your e-mails, questions and kind words!

As I did it at the end of 2008, with the year 2009 drawing to an end, I want to make some conclusions of the year and take a look back at 2009 most popular posts. Although I haven’t blogged that much, still, below you’ll find a list of articles that got interesting feedback/commentary/page views from you, my lovely readers – both active in commenting and those silent ;)

If you have your favorite posts on my blog – please let me know by placing a link or mentioning the post title in the comments section. Also, I’m sure most of you have written many good posts in 2009 – feel free to add your links to your own popular blog posts of the year!

May your holidays be filled with soul-satisfying, body-stimulating and mind-blowing fun and sex you will never forget! ;)

All-Time Mistakes Men Make During Sex With A Woman – Basic No-No’s And Biggest Turn-Off’s!
Here’s is a list of things many men are probably doing wrong when it comes to sex with a woman, according to my personal experience and the experiences of other women. Of course, these aren’t the only things many women find annoying, but these are common mistakes many men tend to repeat with women over and over. Trust me on this guys, there is nothing worse than a lover who does not care about his woman’s sexual needs and her pleasure. Be a man that women crave in the bedroom, okay? Find out sex mistakes that can be a real turn off and stand head and shoulders above the rest.

Things Most Women Probably Make Wrong In Bed With A Man – And Why They Do Those Things!
No man is the perfect lover. No woman either. It means, no one is perfect, and only those who never do anything, never make mistakes. BUT although women less likely than men to repeat the same mistakes over and over again, they also do lots of things that can turn a man off in the bedroom. Moreover, women do more mistakes than men. In this post, I offer a checklist for ladies and essential tips!

Women’s All-Time Turn-Ons About A Man – Top 10!
When it comes to sexual turn-ons, men and women are very different. It is not a myth that women are attracted to a man who is comfortable with his emotions. It is also true that many women are on the hunt for an attractive man who knows how to treat a lady right! The following is a list of the top ten female turn-ons gathered from hours spent listening to women tell it like it is. So in this post you find top women’s turn-ons about men’s physical appearance, inner qualities and sexual self. Although many things listed in the post are well-known and quite understandable, I encourage you, dear men, to really look over this list of things and probably adjust your behavior accordingly in order to seduce her mind, soul and… panties ;)

How To Talk Dirty in the Sack: Dirty Talk Tips and 50 Examples That Will Make You Blush!
Talking dirty to your sweetheart is a great form of sex play, but there are certain things you must keep in mind in order to have the best experience. What is a dirty talk, what are the dirty talk boundaries, dirty talk tips, dirty talk types and even 50 dirty talk examples (from not-so-dirty to so-so-dirty) you’ll find in this post!

Tantric Sex – Sexual Pleasure For Body, For Mind, For Soul
It seems like the term “Tantric sex” has become popular lately, but what is it? How it can enrich your sex life? Why there has been a growing interest in Tantric sex today? Few people really know. Personally, I’m especially interested in this topic because I often get asked about Tantric sex and Tantric sexuality. So, if you want to make your love life better and become a better lover for your sweetheart and you have no idea what Tantric sex is all about – this article is for you. Learn basics about Tantric sex, get the essence of Tantric sexuality, the benefits and other great things and understandings about this sexual practice. Well, Tantric sex – what it is all about? If you want to give Tantric sex a try and incorporate ideas of Tantra into your sex life, firstly, you can start with getting more information about Tantric sexuality. Incorporate ideas of Tantra into your love life for pleasure and joy. I know that this is easier said than done, but learning some basics about Tantra can be very helpful and pleasurable.

Tantric Kissing Types and Techniques: Free Your Mind, Let Your Body Throb With Passion And Attain New Heights Of Sexual Pleasure!
Kissing… It is one of the most intimate acts of sexual expression. Highly pleasurable, stimulating, luscious, erotic. Kissing is like a “facial love-making”, and some lovers (including me) can reach orgasm through kissing alone. There are many different kinds of kisses: slow, quick, deep, wet, soft, hard and then there is Tantric kissing. In this post, you will find out some amazingly pleasurable ways of kissing in the tantric style. I share with you a great article by a female sexologist and worldwide speaker on relationships, intimacy and human sexuality. So do you want to know more about Eye brow Kissing or Synchronized Kissing? Go on, check out my post and find out.

SCENTsual Sexuality: Natural Body Scents – What’s In Them
It’s not a secret that scent is one of the most powerful human senses. My point in this post is how important our body natural smells and odors are. Here you may take a look at how and why human body scents influence sexual attraction. For example, do you know that the scent of man’s sweat is an aphrodisiac to many women? Do you know about Pheromones? Due to pheromone chemicals, the odour of male natural sweat can be highly attractive to some women. A study revealed that male sweat actually contains a compound called “androstenone” that sexually arouses women and gives a boost to our moods and sexual arousal. So, check out this article and… sniff until orgasm!

“Shhh, Cum Fast And Quiet!” OR Sex In Public Places – Minimize Risk And Maximize Pleasure!
Parked cars, swimming pools, parks, offices, balconies, wherever the mood strikes… So, how dirty and naughty you are? ;) Have you ever had sex in a public place? I know many people who have had it, love it and do it whenever they get the chance. Personally, I’ll be honest and say that I’m really not into having sex in random, public places and it is not high on my long sexual fantasy list. Still, being sexually adventurous, I have had it several times but there was no one around because being watched doesn’t turn me on. Sometimes the desire is too overpowering to wait, so public and outdoor sex is all about “take me, right here, right now! It doesn’t matter where we are!!!” It’s about doing what’s considered naughty and “forbidden”, and yes, it worth trying at least once, if it’s not harming anyone else and if you’re completely responsible for all your actions. Sexual escapades in outdoors, in public or semi-public places do add novelty and spontaneity to a sexual relationship, and lead to more intense, more explosive orgasms. But it’s always important to minimize risk and maximize pleasure. Sex in public places: what is it? Why do people love it and do it? What are some popular places for engaging in public sex? What are the taboos and things you should be aware of when doing it in a public place? This article may answer these questions and give you more tips, ideas and rules of thumb about sex in public places.

“You’re Almost As Good As My Ex!”, “Did You Come Yet, Dear?” – And Other Things You Should Never Say During Sex!
In this article, you’ll find some things you should never say during lovemaking! You’ve probably already read them online and knew that, but still here is a list for those of you who may have missed it. Being vocal during sex and talking dirty is great, but there are things that your partner doesn’t want to hear before, during and after that intimate act! “Mood-Killers” – Part one…

“MOOD-KILLERS” Or Things Not To Say Before, During And After Sex!
Mood-killers – Part two. There is nothing you can do more for your special someone than to be a considerate and thoughtful lover who knows what to do and what to say before, during and after sex. Appropriate words and phrases can be very powerful and stimulating during sex; words can arouse desire, infuse your lovemaking with passion, and reveal sexual fantasies. Talking in the heat of passion is great and it helps to intensify satisfaction for you and your partner, but there are different kinds of sex talk, for example, there is an erotic talk, a dirty talk and there is a stupid talk (*wink*). After reviewing some of my friends’ “mood killers”, as well as some of my personal experience, I’ve compiled a list of some things that your partner doesn’t want to hear before, during and after sex. It is for your own good guys, so pay attention and try to avoid the mistakes that are surprisingly common. In this post, take a look at a variety of awkward comments and other things we all are not supposed to say during intimacy.

The Sounds of Sex: Why Do We Moan And Groan During Sex?
Delicious, arousing, orgasmic moans. Taking your breath away. Why we moan and groan during lovemaking? What is the origin of moaning/groaning as a response during sex? What are the ways and types of sex moans? Do all lovers make passionate noises and moan during sex? What about men and moaning? You can find the answers in my post. Good moaning to everyone!

The Breast Orgasm: Not Common, But Certainly Possible!
Luckily for us women and contrary to our popular belief that men are uncaring and insensitive towards our sexual needs, there are loads of things men actually want to know about our sexuality. What are women’s turn-ons; what we want in bed; what do we fantasize about; what and where is the g-spot; what we like and don’t like about men… and so on. Very few men are comfortable asking a woman what feels right to her and what she wants sexually. Still, there are a thousand questions men ask women or want to ask. And one of the most popular questions I get often is: “Is it true that there are women that can achieve orgasm through breast stimulation alone?” This article is my answer. I spill the beans about what is the breast orgasm and what it takes for your woman to have it…

Woman’s Pussy: Do Men Really Care About The Way It Looks?
In this post, I answer a reader question – Do men normally categorize a woman’s pussy? Occasionally, I receive questions and e-mails from my dear readers that bring up good topics that can be addressed for everyone. In this post I talk about a very delicious and erotic subject: woman’s pussy and the way it looks.

The 4 Most Popular Penis Size Myths – Don’t Be Misled!
Sex and myths always seem to go together. And when it comes to myths and misconceptions about men’s sexuality, penis size myths seem to be the most prevalent. Unfortunately, people (in fact, most of them are men themselves) have developed many different myths about the penis. Some of them are really ridiculous and so outrageous that it is hard to believe that anyone actually believes them. Don’t let these myths to mislead you, okay?

Sexual Afterplay And After Sex “Etiquette”: Do’s And Don’ts!
What do YOU do right after sex? Roll over and fall asleep? Jump up immediately and run off to the bathroom to clean yourself up, leaving your sweetheart alone during the cooling off period? Turn on the TV? Check your phone for messages and missed calls? If so – then this article is for you. Most women enjoy and need after-playing. Ask any woman, and she is most likely to tell you that closeness and delicious cuddling afterward is one of the favorite and pleasurable parts of sexual experience. So what is an afterplay and sexual manners? What is not advisable and advisable to do right after sex? After-playing – what’s in it for men? What The Kama Sutra suggests? You can check this post to find out.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy! – What Men And Women Worry About During Sex And How To Stop That!
What those top sex worries of men and women are? And how to stop that and simply enjoy a good time? Because I get asked this so often and hear other people’s sex worries almost every day, I decided to share my thoughts on the subject. Don’t worry, be happy! ;)

Sexual Nicknames: 10 Facts And More Than 100 Nicknames For A Man’s Most Private Part – The Penis!
It is with men when they are born. It is with men every day. It is with men everywhere. It is a man’s best companion throughout all their life. Men treat it with great honesty and respect. Talk to it and about it. Take care of it. Measure it. Examine it. Groom It. Try to make it smell and taste good. Listen to it. Scold it when it behaves badly. Take pictures of it. Satisfy it. Buy sex toys for it. Play with it. Have no menstruation with it. Pee with it. Have sex with it and worship it for being a source of great pleasure. It’s no wonder then, that some men NAME IT. This article contains penis facts and the DICKtionary of penis nicknames!

The Pussy List: More Than 100 Synonyms And Names For A Woman’s Hole Of Holes!
In this post you will find more than 100 synonyms and names for a woman’s most pretty and sexy part – THE PUSSY! You’ll see that some of the names sound vulgar and doesn’t sound very flattering at all, some sound funny and silly, and most of them are very, very nice! If you have something to add to this long list, share with me and I will add them!

How To Finger A Woman: Make Your Fingers A Pleasure Tool And Show Her What You Can Do With Them!
Direct, consistent and skilled pussy fingering can give a woman the best orgasm of her life. Now, isn’t that worth reading on? ;-) For women, there’s so much more to sex than just having an intercourse. Only one in four women can have an orgasm during intercourse without some additional stimulation. That’s why most of them find that they receive more rewarding pleasure and orgasms by lots of kissing, inner thighs stroking, breast fondling and using plenty of tongue AND fingers on and in her “hole of holes”, the pussy. Believe me, using fingers outside and inside her pussy, can make a woman more than satisfied, because what a woman feels during an intercourse isn’t just what she may feel during manual stimulation. Learn how to bring your lady to those orgasmic heights by just using your strong and gentle fingers!

Sex Positions: Sex Is Fine In The “69”!
I believe that sexual positioning is one of the main keys to great sex. I want you to learn a variety of sex positions, for all circumstances and situations. In this post, let’s learn all about one more commonly known sex position, THE SIXTY-NINE! As the missionary, the sixty-nine position is also a classic in the history of sex positions! And despite being “old”, it’s still popular today, because it is really fine and enjoyable! Here you will find out advantages and disadvantages of the “69” position and even the “69” funny poems!

Sex Positions: In Praise Of The Good Old Missionary – Its Great Benefits And Sensual Variations!
In this post I sing the praises of my one of the most cherished and all-time favorite positions – THE GOOD OLD MISSIONARY. Call it most boring, call it “ordinary”, call it “old-fashioned”, anything but erotic, but actually, there’s nothing wrong with this position, and it is one of the most intimate, comfortable and pleasurable sex positions ever. Fortunately, the missionary position is not static and you can vary it up in numerous ways! Find out why women and men might enjoy the missionary position, and enjoy 8 variations of the missionary sex position!

Women And The Big ‘O’: Why Many Women Have Difficulty Achieving Orgasm And What To Do About It?
As we all know, for most men, sex ends with an orgasm. But if you are a woman, achieving the big ‘O’ is not an easy task. In this article I talk about the complexity of a female orgasm and the possible causes of women not getting it. Who is responsible for a woman’s orgasm? What men can do to “bring her water to boiling”? Can a woman enjoy sex without an orgasm? I share with you my thoughts and explain some things.

Night-Time Sexual Dreams: What Are They And Why We Have Them
Nighttime erotic dreams… Intriguing and shocking, full of eroticism and passion, bizarre and downright dirty, sexual dreams are the greatest dreams ever, and both men and women of all age do have them every now and then! Why we have them? What they mean? Why do some sexual dreams end with a real orgasm? And how to enjoy them more often? Read more in this post!

I’ve recently received an interesting and thought-provoking e-mail from a reader Kevin. And I’m glad to post my reply to the following letter:

I discovered your blog and thought you might have some good insight on this. I met a really attractive and intelligent woman at a party a few weeks ago. It was a public event at an art gallery. She was a high school teacher in her early thirties. Her parents emigrated here from the Phillipines and she seemed to have very traditional values and was passionate about teaching. We had been talking for a good half hour and really seemed to be hitting it off. We had even made tentative plans to meet for coffee sometime.

Then, things suddenly went downhill. I commented that she had a “nice, full, hourglass figure”. I thought she would take it as a compliment but instead she became deeply offended. She snapped, “Oh really….well perhaps I should do some plus size modeling!” I went into damage control mode and tried to clarify my comments but I think I only exacerbated things when I used the term “healthy”. With a look of complete disgust, she slapped my face and departed.

I will never forget those agonizing moments in the immediate aftermath, as I was standing there alone rubbing my cheek, drawing some judgemental stares from onlookers. Needless to say, it was not my proudest moment, LOL.

She had the classic figure of a 50’s pinup – large bust, narrow waist, shapely hips/legs. I guess she had interpreted “hourglass” as meaning big/overweight/full figured. I just thought it meant shapely and well proportioned.

When I told a female friend about this she shook her head and said it was never a good idea to comment on a woman’s figure, even if I thought it was complimentary. What do you think about this?

- Kevin -

Hello there, Kevin! Warmest THANK YOU for your e-mail. Your interest in my opinion is a huge compliment to me.

While reading through your “hourglass” story, I was smiling to myself a lot, with pleasure. And I am still smiling right now. Guess why? Because I’m blessed with an hourglass figure. I have nice breasts, well-defined waist and round butt and hips. I have ‘meat’ (lol) in all the right places, but I am still physically fit and I am not fat or overweight. As you’ve said it’s just the classic figure of the fifties. So I graciously accept all the compliments on my figure from both men and women.

Now, let’s consider your situation together.

First, let’s define what is an hourglass figure. An hourglass figure (also known as a guitar or violin, but of course not as pronounced) is a silhouette which resembles an hourglass which is wider at the top and bottom and narrow in the middle. Women with hourglass figures have round hips and relatively large busts which come in impressive contrast with a well-defined, narrow waist. Basically, bust and hips must be almost equal, but waist must be about 9-10 inches less diameter than the top and bottom. An hourglass figure is mostly about the body shape and contours, not the weight. A woman can be big and hourglass-shaped, and she can be small and thin and hourglass-shaped.

To all women who are endowed with an hourglass-shaped figure. An hourglass figure is mainly about the female body shape and contours, rather than weight. A perfectly sculpted, fit and toned hourglass figure is not a shame, it’s a figure to be proud of. A perfect hourglass figure is an eye-catcher and a turn-on for many men.

Marilyn Monro, Jane Mansfield, Ava Gardner, Bettie Page…

Gina Lollobrigida, Sofia Loren, Raquel Welch…

Beyonce Knowles, Jennifer Lopez, Mariah Carey, Shakira, Kim Kardashian, Mayra Veronica, Kate Winslet, Yasmin Bleeth, Kelly Brook, Kate Winslet, Salma Hayek…

All these cuties are endowed with gorgeous curves and they are fine examples of hourglass figures. They have waist-hip differential, fairly large and round butt and boobs. Marilyn Monroe and Sofia Loren were so proud of their curves that they wore dresses a size too small to accentuate the figure contours and beautiful narrow waist. Many women are proud of their hourglass figures and many other women dream of having such figures – they strive to create the hourglass look by wearing breast-enhancing bras and corsets. In my opinion, having an hourglass figure is not a shame, it’s an honor, it’s an award from God.

Now, onto ”healthy”. Let me guess what you meant by saying “healthy”.

Historically, wide hips, large breasts and narrow waist in a woman have always been considered a sign of femininity. Large breasts and wide hips physically differentiate women from men, who are supposed to have narrow hips and no boobs, of course. In medical sense, the hourglass figure is often considered to be a “healthy” female figure as women with fairly large breasts and wide hips have a higher reproductive potential and higher level of female hormone estrogen. Although this is a VERY controversial issue, there is an opinion that a woman will have an easier childbirth if she has wide hips. OF COURSE it does not mean that a woman with smaller hips will not. There are a lot of women who are not hourglasses or have the “athletic” body type, but they look very, very, very feminine, absolutely beautiful and successfully give birth to wonderful babies.

Also, by saying “healthy”, you probably meant that a woman you met had a perfectly sculpted and toned body,  not fat or overweight. Am I right?

Now onto the complimenting on a woman’s figure and body image.

When you first meet a woman – complimenting on her figure and body image is not a good idea. Here’s why…

Everyone loves to receive kind and sincere compliments. And it is so wonderful that you feel comfortable to compliment a woman.

BUT

Although I realize that your compliment was, well, “complimentary”, I have to admit that your lady friend was right. To comment on a woman’s figure is okay – when you know that woman very well or she is your long-term girlfriend. But commenting on a woman’s figure when you meet a woman for the first time – it is not a good idea, even if you paid the sincerest compliment you’ve ever paid.

If that lady got offended with your compliment, it means she is not happy enough with her body shapes and assets. And you know what? Believe it or not, for most women, body image is a constant struggle. Almost every woman on Earth, regardless of her size and body assets, has some parts of her body she would like to improve, or, even, well, “remove”. Even the world’s most beautiful and ideally shaped women do have some body image issues.

Especially, when it comes to a woman’s breasts, hips, butt and legs.

I know very few women who are absolutely satisfied with their body looks. In fact, we women tend to worry about our body image tooooo much sometimes. Our body image worries are based on our weight issues, the quality of our sex life, previous sexual experiences and relationships, and other things.

As I know, dear men, you are much less critical of female body than we are. But the fact is that women will always be critical of their body. Andconvincing us to totally accept our bodies is almost… impossible.

For example, Kevin, if you sincerely think she has a “nice, full, hourglass figure” and this compliment sounds perfect in your mind – it does not mean she thinks so. As I’ve mentioned earlier, she might be unsatisfied with her figure and shape. Unfortunately, nowadays, some women tend to think that an hourglass figure and the word “curvy” are synonymous with overweight and fat. And, fortunately, hourglasses come back to fashion and media.

Dear men, thank you for your compliments, and please keep complimenting us. However, any compliment should be well-timed and thoughtful – especially – when you FIRST meet a woman. When you first meet a woman, I advise you to avoid very specific and very personal compliments (such as compliments with some sexual content, body-image compliments) in order to avoid misinterpretations, judgmental stares from onlookers and a slap in the face ;) When you first meet a woman, to be on the safe side, you may choose to compliment her soft melodious voice, her beautiful moves and posture, her interesting thoughts, her excellent style of dressing. If you genuinely find it worth complimenting. And remember – not only it is important WHAT you say, it is also very important HOW you say it.

Personally, I always accept all the compliments if they are genuine, coming from the bottom of one’s heart. I think it’s always nice to receive a compliment, and I also love giving sincere compliments to other people, particularly, men. Men do like receiving compliments; they just pretend they don’t ;)

Dear Kevin, I hope it was somewhat helpful and explaining. I’d be happy to get your feedback! Once again, thank you so much for bringing up this important and interesting topic!

Now some questions for you, my sweethearts:
What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
How do you respond to compliments?
Is it easier to accept a compliment from a stranger, or someone who knows you really well?
Do you love it or not when someone compliments you on your body image?

Looking forward to hear your thoughts and experiences!

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Related posts you might enjoy:

What Men And Women Worry About During Sex And How To Stop That!
How To Talk Dirty in the Sack: Dirty Talk Tips and 50 Examples That Will Make You Blush!
“MOOD-KILLERS” Or Things Not To Say Before, During And After Sex!
Why Many Women Have Difficulty Achieving Orgasm And What To Do About It?
Sexual Afterplay And After Sex “Etiquette”: Do’s And Don’ts!
Things Most Women Probably Make Wrong In Bed With A Man – And Why They Do Those Things!
All-Time Mistakes Men Make During Sex With A Woman! Basic No-No’s And Biggest Turn-Off’s!

Hello there everyone! How’s your weekend going? Hope all is well, and your weekend is filled with pleasurable things enough to make you smile and orgasm! Remember, never stop smiling and having orgasms, because someone might fall in love with the way you smile and orgasm *wink*. Today I just want you to enjoy the rest of your weekend, and make you smile even more. Enjoy, and do not forget to express your love to your loved ones.

Who’s wearing the pants in this family?

A young couple, just married, was in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband who was a big burly man tossed his pants to his bride and said, “Here, put these on.” She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. “I can’t wear your pants,” she said. “That’s right,” said the husband, “and don’t you ever forget it. I’m the man and I wear the pants in this family.”

With that she flipped him her panties and said, “Try these on.” He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. “Heck,” he said, “I can’t get into your panties!” She replied, “That’s right, and that’s the way it’s going to be until your attitude changes!”

An Accidental Encounter

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.” She replies, “If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 436.”

Doggy style sex position

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. “Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?” asked the one.
“Well, not exactly.” his friend replied, “she’s more into the trick dog aspect of it.”
“Oh, I see, kinky, huh?”
“Well, not exactly – I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead.”

Extra Large condoms

A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms.
He replies, “Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?”
She responds, “No, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?”

How do you measure a woman’s butt

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says “Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue grill!”

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife’s bottom. “Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue grill!”

The woman chose to ignore her husband. Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling frisky. He makes some naughty moves towards his wife who completely brushes him off. “What’s wrong?” he asks. She answers: “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little sausage?”

Who is the dumber?

A mother and father took their six-year-old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother’s, and asked her why. She told her son, “The bigger they are the dumber the person is.”
Pleased with the answer, the boy goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger “parts” than his dad. His mother replied, “The bigger they are the dumber the person is”
Satisfied with this answer, the boy returned to the ocean to play. Shortly after, the boy returned again, and told his mom, “Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets.”

200 bucks

A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell. The wife answers. “Hi, is Tony home?” “No, he went to the store.” “Well, you mind if I wait?” “No come in.” They sit down and the friend says “You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I’d give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one.” Sara thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell – a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws 100 bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and Chris says “They are so beautiful I’ve got to see the both of them. I’ll give you another 100 bucks if I could just see the both of them together.” Sara thinks about this and says what the hell, opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on the table then says he can’t wait any longer for Tony and leaves. A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says “You know, your weird friend Chris came over.” Tony thinks about this for a second and says “Well, did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?”

About Life

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. Life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, and spend your last nine months floating… then finish off as an orgasm.” George Carlin

Things that Sound Dirty at Christmas, But Aren’t

To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall.
I think your balls are hanging too low.
Did you get any under the tree?
Santa’s sack is really bulging.
I love licking the end till it’s really sharp and pointy.
From here you can’t tell if they’re artificial or real.
Lift up the skirt so I can get a clean breath.
Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?

START EVERY DAY WITH A SMILE AND ORGASM… BECAUSE EVERY DAY YOU SPEND WITHOUT A SMILE AND ORGASM – IS A LOST DAY ;)

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Posts you may have missed:
An Orgasm And A Laugh A Day Keep The Doctor Away – 20 Sex Jokes To Tickle Your Funny Bone!
60 Adult Funny And Serious Quotes About Almost Everyone’s Favorite Topic – SEX!
The Pussy List: More Than 100 Synonyms And Names For A Woman’s Hole Of Holes!
Sexual Nicknames: 10 Facts And More Than 100 Nicknames For A Man’s Most Private Part – The Penis!
The 4 Most Popular Penis Size Myths – Don’t Be Misled!
How To Talk Dirty in the Sack: Dirty Talk Tips and 50 Examples That Will Make You Blush!
“MOOD-KILLERS” Or Things Not To Say Before, During And After Sex!