Woman About Sex

It is with men when they are born. It is with men every day. It is with men everywhere. It is a man’s best companion throughout all their life. Men treat it with great honesty and respect. Talk to it and about it. Take care of it. Measure it. Examine it. Groom It. Try to make it smell and taste good. Listen to it. Scold it when it behaves badly. Take pictures of it. Satisfy it. Buy sex toys for it. Play with it. Have no menstruation with it. Pee with it. Have sex with it and worship it for being a source of great pleasure.

It’s no wonder then, that some men NAME IT.

Yes. Believe it or not, almost every penis has a name. Whether it’s a funny, or silly, or dirty, or vulgar name. Some men stick to the old fashion nicknames. Some men adopt new and more creative ones. Some of men have women naming their “goods” in the pants. Whatever the case, men do believe that their penises have little personalities. And you know, I myself believe that! So, enough about women, let me now praise men’s lovable “centerpiece”, THE PENIS.

Penis Facts

1. Most arousing time of day/season for a man: early morning (hormone peak)/fall
2. Most men wake up with “morning wood” (morning erection)
3. Average length of an adult man’s penis in a flaccid state ranges from 3 inches to 6 inches
4. Average length of a man’s penis when erect is around 5.1 to 6.2 inches long
5. Four ways to improve penis’ performance: quit smoking, stop drinking excessively, start exercising, lose weight
6. A long-term, heavy smoking can shorten your lil’ buddy by as much as a centimeter, because erections are all about good blood-flow, and heavy smoking calcifies blood vessels, stifling erectile circulation
7. Length of the flaccid penis does not necessarily correspond to length of the erect penis; some smaller flaccid penises can grow much larger, and some larger flaccid penises cannot grow much larger
8. Penises that are short when flaccid tend to lengthen proportionately more than longer ones
9. Penises that are short when flaccid but more average when erect are colloquially known as growers, where those with greater flaccid lengths that increase little when erect are known as showers. What is there in YOUR pants: a grower or a shower? :)
10. Men’s sexuality is “phallocentric”!

Therefore, let’s move on to the nicknames men and women adopt for penises!

The DICKtionary of penis nicknames

A
Ankle-spanker, A man’s tail

B
Bulge, Bang cock, Busted Battery, Big Mac, Beef, Billy Bob, Boinger, Banger, Baloney, Big Dick, Boink swatter

C
Cock, Cupid’s Arrow, Cocksicle, Candycane

D
Dick, Ding Dong, Dong, Dangly bits, Dip Stick, Diver, Dude Piston, Ding-a-ling, Dr. Dick

F
Fuck stick, Family jewels, Front tail

G
Girl’s best friend, Giggle stick, Gadget

H
Hanging Johnny, Hot-dog, Hairy hotdog, Hormone tube, Heat seeking moisture missile

J
Joystick, Johnny Come Early, Jungle Worm, Jigger, Johnson

L
Love whistle, Lovetool, Love Stick, Love Pump, Lick-a-stick, Lolli-Pop, Lil’ head

M
Man in the man, Meat, Mister Man, Man’s mark, Mr. Big, Mr. “P”, Mr. Happy, Meat Whistle, Main vein, Man with helmet and two bowling balls

N
Niagara balls, Nightcrawler, Nether rod, Nosy, Nike (for the slogan ‘Just Do It’)

O
One Hole Friction Whistle, One-eyed trouser trout, One-eyed Wonder Weasel, One–eyed snake

P
Pe-nay-nay, Prick, Pecker, Peter, Pole, Pain reliever, Pussy Player, Pussy Drill, Pinky finger, Purple-Head Warrior, Pocket rocket, Pork sword, Pee Pee, Pumping Pole of Penile Power, Piss Pump, Power drill, Penisaurus Rex, Pork steeple, Package, Power tool, Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger

R
Romeo, Rod, Richard and the Twins, Rock Hard, Rapid Rover

S
Sperminator, Skin flute, Shaft, Skin pistol, Sex Pistol, Sausage, Solid snake, Shlong, Silver Surfer, Stormtrooper with a purple helmet made for crushing pink cookies

T
The hand warmer, Third arm/leg, Third Arm of Justice, The Giving Tree, The finger without a nail, The center of the universe, Todger, The incredible bulk, Twig and berries, The weiner, The hammer of God, The forbidden mushroom, Tube steak, Trouser Snake, Tool, Thrill Drill, The centerpiece, Tilt-a-world, The Littlest Traffic Cop

W
Winky, Winky dink, Willy, White chocolate factory, Wonder Muscle, Wang, Woody, Wicked Weasel, Whoopie stick, weewee

Finally, top nicknames soldiers have for their “skin gun”: Top Gun, Heavy artillery, One Gun Salute, Reinforcements, Ground Support, Major Johnson, The Purple Beret, Patriot Missile

Perhaps, I’ve missed some of your favorites, so you can add them in the comment section and I’ll add them to the list! Also, if you have something to add to my other lists on pussy nicknames and masturbation names, do it!

And a final note for today. In all seriousness, I don’t think MOST men name their manhood. But I do think that naming your private parts is sexy and very, very funny. However, remember that sometimes vagina should be a vagina, and penis should be a penis.

Happy pussy and penis naming everyone! ;-)

_______________________
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